Steve, Betsy, and Dennis Miller at the Nokia Theater.

About eight months ago, after I had a wreck and my car was deemed “totaled” by my insurance company, my parents gave me use of their 1995 Toyota Previa. Although it had over 200,000 miles, it was in good working condition with one small exception: the radio was broken. An admitted talk radio addict, I decided this was unacceptable, so I was left with the option of paying to get the radio fixed, or finding some other way to deal with this unexpected disappointment. I decided to get an ipod.

At the local Target, an ipod “Shuffle” was $42 and had more than enough gigs for me to download my favorite radio shows. And there was an extra bonus I hadn’t considered: the podcasts had no commercials and the sound quality was far superior to a traditional radio broadcast. Better yet, I could expand my horizons and download shows that didn’t even air in the Austin market. The first show that came to mind was the Dennis Miller Radio Show.

I had long been a fan of Dennis Miller since the 80′s, watching him on Saturday Night Live. He was my favorite Weekend Update anchor. In recent years he had become a regular on the Fox News Channel’s O’Reilly Factor, which I also watched from time to time. When he appeared on The O’Reilly Factor, underneath his name was the website for his radio show, Dennismillerradio.com. I decided to research his website, liked what I saw, and registered as a “premium member” so I could download the show on a daily basis. After just a few days, I was hooked… no longer downloading the local podcast I had been listening to for years on my drive home and instead listening to the Dennis Miller Radio Show.

Fast forward approximately eight months: Last night, Dennis Miller had a show at the Nokia Theater in Grand Prairie and Betsy and I went up to see him. About a week ago, I had emailed his radio show producer, “Christian,” and asked him if it would be possible for us to meet Dennis at the show. He graciously said “Sure, no problem,” and put us on a list to go backstage. We were told to show up early before the show because Dennis would being leaving promptly afterward.

We showed up about 45 minutes early, went back stage, and met Dennis. He was very friendly and, surprisingly, was already somewhat aware of who I was based on postings I had made on his website. Naturally I was flattered that a guy like Dennis Miller, whom I had admired for years, would be amused enough by posts I’d made on his website that he would remember me. He also seemed happy to meet Betsy (who always makes a good impression), so I asked the local radio station representative from KSKY in Dallas to snap a picture for us. That picture is now a treasured souvenir of a very enjoyable evening.

Today, I thought about our unfinished movie and what a funny and talented guy Dennis Miller is. I wondered: Wouldn’t it be cool if Dennis Miller wanted to come on board and help us get Code Enforcer finished, perhaps play a part in the movie or contribute as a co-writer? Then I caught myself and felt guilty. Why should I always look at things as a possible opportunity to benefit our unfinished movie?

Obvioulsy it would be a dream come true to have the talent of Dennis Miller behind our movie, but the reality was we had a great time meeting him and, I believe , we made a new friend as well. In the end, what more can you ask for?

The “lyrics” she is referring to are for a “cat rap” she wrote that she wants me to shoot for her (I promise to share more on that in the future). Yes, you read that right… a “cat rap,” as in rap music. You may have guessed by now that Tricia is a bit of, well… let’s just say that her enthusiasm for Kit’s “creative” potential knows no bounds.

You are probably also wondering who the female star is that Kit clawed, but mercifully didn’t draw blood from. I decided to do a little detective work and according to imdb, the female leads in Machete include Michelle Rodriguez (not sure who she is, but she’s fetching indeed), Jessica Alba (no comment necessary), and Lindsay Lohan (no comment).

Hmmmm… Tricia said Kit smirked at the female star. Must have been Lindsay Lohan.

While we weren’t crazy about the idea of moving away from our hometown of Austin, the thought of remaining unemployed was even less appealing. We vowed we’d stay there only one year… just enough time to add real job experience to our resumes and become more “marketable.” Two kids and twelve years later, we finally moved back to Austin, where I hoped to immerse myself in Austin’s film community and pursue my childhood dream of making a movie.

But alas, with a wife and two kids to support, the dream would have to take a back seat to earning a living. In the mid 90′s, my family had built a small hotel west of Austin called Mountain Star Lodge. With the explosion of growth in Austin during that time period, the hotel had been so successful that they decided to double its size from 20 to 40 rooms. By the summer of 2002, the expansion was completed and my brother, Terry, who was the general manager, had indicated to my father (or so I was told) that he would like me to assist in running it. Specifically, it seemed , I was to share front desk duties with other employees while streamlining the procedures, including the antiquated reservation system. I had no experience with this sort of thing, but I always enjoyed a good challenge and it would help pay the bills while I pursued making a movie on the side.

My first day on the job was the same day we had returned the moving truck. Betsy and I had just spent an exhausting two days unloading the truck and trying to get situated in our new home. My brother had told me to show up around noon and shadow Blanche (not her real name), who would show me the ropes of how to check in guests, check out guests, take reservations, etc. When I walked through the door at approximately 12:15, I was greeted by the scowling face of a woman that would send a chill down Nurse Ratched’s spine.

“You’re late,” she said.

“Yes, sorry about that. We just got back from returning the moving truck and…”

“Steve, I have other things I could be doing besides waiting around here while you decide to show up,” she barked. The condescension rolled off her like sweat off a camel’s balls. “I’m only here as a favor to Terry.”

Was she kidding? Was this for real? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but I knew I didn’t like it. I felt like I was being scolded by my cranky fourth grade teacher. I can’t recall exactly how things digressed from there, but at some point my brother walked in on the shouting match and delivered the line that earned him the 2002 Understatement of the Year Award.

“I don’t believe this is a very good way to greet Steve the first day on the job,” he said.

What had I gotten myself into?

Since this is my first entry in this blog, readers who have no idea what I’m talking about are most likely already lost. So a brief summary:

A couple of years ago, I began working on an idea for a screenplay about the ridiculous “codes” and “restrictions” that hoity toity neighborhood associations impose on their residents in an effort to keep the neighborhood from becoming, well… one of those neighborhoods. I bounced the idea off a writer/actor friend of mine, Greg Dorchak, and coincidentally he, too, had once started working on a script idea based on his experiences with his pesky Home Owners Association. We collaborated back and forth and before too long we had a completed script for a movie entitled, Code Enforcer.

Well to make a long story short (if it’s not too late), one of the characters in the script has a cat who plays a heroic role in the movie. Since we were self-producing, I knew we’d have a challenge finding a cat that could do some of the things we had written into the script. Then I remembered Kit Casanova.

I first met Kit when a photographer friend of mine asked me if I’d be interested in video taping a cat who jumped through hoops. He had been hired to shoot pictures of the cat jumping through the hoops and the owner, Tricia Menke, wanted the photo shoot to be documented on video. The pictures would be printed as postcards and sent over to Iraq with the caption, “Jumping Through Hoops for the Troops.” The free postcards could then be used by members of the military to send messages back home to friends and family members.

An unusual idea? Yes, but obviously motivated by a good heart to do something to help cheer up our men and women in uniform, so I agreed. The video was posted on youtube, the cards were printed up and shipped over to Iraq, and that was the last I thought I’d see of Kit Casanova or Tricia Menke. But now we were shooting a movie that had a fairly prominent role for a cat, so I called Tricia and asked her if she thought this was something Kit could do. The answer was yes.

As well-behaved and trained as Kit was, the noise and chaos of a movie set (especially our movie set), was a bit much for the skittish Kit. I knew I was in trouble the first day he was scheduled to be on set when Tricia, who had problems finding the location, showed up a few minutes late and explained that Kit was “a bit anxious” because “he hates getting lost.”  Wow, a cat who can not only jump through hoops as a self-less expression of support for our military, but can also communicate complex emotions based on idiosyncratic hang-ups! We had the “Lassie” of cats in our movie!

I quickly learned, however, that the portions of the script involving the cat would have to be substantially modified. Kit, who has actually been trained to “use the potty,” had a little bit of trouble with what I naively believed would come easily to him. After all, this cat could jump through hoops, take a leak in a toilet, AND express concern when lost in an unfamiliar neighborhood. All I wanted him to do was scamper out an open door… several times… and in a specific direction. Was that asking too much?

In hindsight, I realize Kit was actually pretty darn good, considering most other cats would have just darted out the door and run off. Even so, I had broken yet another one of those cardinal rules first-time moviemakers should always be mindful of: no children, no SAG members, and NO ANIMALS.  I still had a lot to learn.

Which brings me back to why I even mused over all this stuff today to begin with. A couple of days ago, I was driving around the neighborhood where we were filming Code Enforcer and I noticed the tell tale signs of a movie set—big white trucks, honey wagons, signs pointing to “crew parking”—and I got curious. I did a little research and it turned out to be the set of Robert Rodriguez’s latest action-packed, blood bath thriller, Machete.

Okay, I thought, that’s cool… he’s actually making the movie based on the faux trailer of the same name that screened before his notorious Grindhouse films. And it stars Robert Deniro… even better. But then today I get an email from Tricia Menke asking me about the “rap video” we had discussed for Kit (more on that in a future blog) and in passing she says, “Oh, BTW, Kit has been recruited to play a part in the movie, Machete, produced by Robert Rodriguez.”

Oh, how I’d love to be a fly on the wall of that set…